SoMelancholy

First and foremost,

To my friend, Ray.
You were the friend I lost.

We may have lost each other, but today we won.

We didn’t make it in life with each other like I’d hope, but our karma ignited a fire. A fire that quietly burned slowly but furiously that, in the end, dissipated who divided our unity.

This recreant. The cause of our ending. He wasn’t like us.

He wasn’t human enough – to feel, to understand what was like to be bonded in love, tears, pain, trauma, sadness, and music.

I was blinded by his lies, and you were trapped in a labyrinth of adversities. We were in different spaces, torn apart, broken in many ways, but we embraced each other’s flaws and sorrows. Our hearts were open to one another.

To keep our memories sacred and to keep you from finding your way to me, I had to let you go. I kept you in the dark, but selfishly safe – protected from his toxins that were killing me.

My heart was breaking for I was losing the fight.



At last, my will to live broke through even when he kept testing my endurance.

It took 3 years. 3 years for the universe to lit up a fire so strong, its strength broke through his power to intimidate me and poison everything I was. As the karma ripped his mask apart and lit up his career in ashes, by then you’ve already crawled out of that darkness like I know one day, you would.

And I escaped into your darkness.

I’ve been in that dark for a long time to make sure you never return – to keep you safe in the light.

Don’t mind me as I walk through life in dark avenues, getting lost in crowded spaces, hearing voices echoing back my heart’s desire and feeling the bass of my dying heart. I wander through the dark abyss without you as I look up at the distant strobe of lights above me. It’s what reminds me of you. It’s what keeps you close to me.

Life may go on, but I’ll miss you forever.

You will always be my ray of sunshine. ☀️








Healing from narcissistic abuse can start today. Right here.
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Center: https://narctrauma.com/

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